231: Which of these 3 types of depression describe you?

231: Which of these 3 types of depression describe you?

Welcome to this episode of our short daily podcast - A Slice of Therapy.

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With Alun Parry https://liverpoolpsychotherapy.co.uk

Automatically Generated Transcript

00:01
i don’t really ever noticed
00:04
but the thing about illnesses is that by
00:08
and large
00:09
they don’t get cured they get managed
00:12
the kind of things that i’ve been
00:14
diagnosed with
00:16
my doctors aren’t curing me of them i
00:19
manage them
00:21
an inhaler here a tablet there
00:24
but they don’t get cured they get
00:26
managed
00:29
and so when i think about depression
00:32
and the way many will try and pull that
00:35
into the medical model
00:38
i resist that because
00:41
i know that when we have illnesses
00:45
they don’t get cured they get
00:49
managed that actually is by and large
00:51
the medical model
00:54
whereas the way i see depression and the
00:56
way i see my role as a therapist
00:59
is that my goal is not management but
01:02
transformation
01:04
so if somebody is suffering with this i
01:06
want them to no longer suffer it again
01:09
and so i go for a much more
01:12
fluid definition of depression one which
01:17
is much more open to change
01:19
one which is much more open to
01:22
transformation to getting rid of it
01:26
and the way i think about depression is
01:27
not about not as something that you have
01:31
but as a state
01:34
that we enter into and move out of again
01:39
so when i think about depression
01:42
i see it as a depressive state
01:45
that we go through rather than something
01:48
that we have
01:50
like an illness because like i say
01:53
illnesses
01:54
are things that we tend to be stuck with
01:56
rather than something we get
01:58
taken from us and when we have an
02:01
illness
02:03
then that seems to be something we
02:05
manage rather than cure
02:08
but in this podcast having
02:12
explained how i view depression i want
02:14
to give you
02:16
three different kinds of depression
02:18
because if this is a state that you’ve
02:19
ever been in
02:20
yourself then you might find it helpful
02:25
to understand which of the three kinds
02:28
of depression
02:30
which of the three kinds of depressive
02:32
states
02:33
best fit you now the three that i’m
02:36
going to look at
02:38
are event-driven depression
02:41
stubborn depression and bewildering
02:45
depression so let’s look at event
02:49
depression event driven depression fair
02:51
so
02:52
i’m going to tell you the story of jack
02:54
now jack is
02:55
fictional um i’m not going to give
02:59
actual clients information here and
03:02
even anonymize because i want to protect
03:04
their confidentiality so all these cases
03:06
are fictional
03:07
but let me tell you jack’s story
03:09
nonetheless because it’s fairly typical
03:12
so jack was a happy-go-lucky person he
03:14
was very sociable
03:17
had a strong network of friends and
03:20
played for a local football team of a
03:21
saturday he was keen gardener
03:25
and then the company that he worked for
03:28
went bust
03:29
so jack lost his job and he struggled to
03:31
get another one
03:33
and then after a while of trying his
03:36
best and getting nowhere in trauma in
03:38
terms of trying to get another job
03:40
he ended up falling into a depressive
03:42
state
03:44
the result of that is he become distant
03:46
from his friends
03:47
he stopped playing for the football team
03:49
he stopped training with them even
03:51
his garden got overgrown and he spent
03:54
most of his time in bed
03:57
or on the couch
04:00
so as you can see this is a good example
04:02
of an event-driven depression
04:04
like jack would be able to identify the
04:06
specific event that brought it on
04:09
in this case it was losing his job but
04:12
of course there are many different kinds
04:13
of events that can bring on
04:16
a depressive state in event-driven
04:19
depression so it might be retirement
04:22
it might be some sort of accident or a
04:25
bereavement or divorce
04:27
or family conflict or work related
04:30
stress or a whole host of things
04:32
but in event driven depression what you
04:35
can typically do
04:37
is identify the moment
04:40
the trigger if you like that brought it
04:42
on
04:44
so that’s event-driven depression let’s
04:46
have a look at stubborn depression and
04:47
again i’ll give you another fictional
04:49
story
04:51
and this is nina’s story so nina
04:54
is a successful nurse at a local
04:56
hospital and at the moment she’s feeling
04:58
really low
04:59
and she’s felt this way for a couple of
05:01
weeks
05:02
she’s taking some time off sick from
05:04
work in order to be able to handle
05:07
the low feelings and she’s thinking
05:09
negative thoughts about herself
05:11
and she even feels guilty for being off
05:13
work
05:15
now the thing is with nina it’s not the
05:17
first time that this has happened
05:18
in fact throughout her life she’s
05:21
suffered
05:22
with these bouts of depression and she
05:24
can’t pinpoint
05:26
when they began but it feels like
05:29
they’ve been with her forever and so
05:32
unlike jack there’s no clear event
05:35
that’s triggered
05:36
this particular episode but
05:40
nina grew up in really tough
05:42
circumstances
05:44
a dad was violent towards a mum
05:47
so back at home it often felt pretty
05:50
volatile pretty scary and
05:53
of course she was too small to fix the
05:54
problem because she was just a kid so
05:57
she’d often hide away in her room and
05:59
cover her ears
06:00
and she felt really guilty that she
06:02
couldn’t help her mum more
06:04
she felt confused as well because she
06:06
loved her dad even though
06:08
he had these scary outbursts and
06:10
throughout her life this
06:12
kind of depression has been showing up
06:15
now this is a good example of stubborn
06:17
depression it’s the kind
06:19
that keeps on showing up through life
06:21
and it isn’t always clear what brings
06:23
each particular episode on it can kind
06:25
of creep up from nowhere
06:28
but at the same time you feel that it
06:30
might be rooted in some sort of
06:31
childhood experience
06:33
like aspects of today’s experience
06:36
feel somehow familiar and so you get
06:39
this
06:40
sense that maybe if things have played
06:43
out differently when you were younger
06:45
that you wouldn’t be suffering this way
06:47
today so that’s
06:48
stubborn depression the kind that much
06:51
like a boomerang keeps on coming back
06:53
again
06:54
so we’ve seen event-driven depression
06:56
we’ve seen stubborn depression so let’s
06:58
look at the third one
06:59
which is bewildering depression
07:02
now again i’ll give you another
07:03
fictional story this time it’s sam now
07:06
sam
07:07
had an active social life she was a
07:09
member of the choir
07:10
which she attended regularly she enjoyed
07:14
her job as an estate agent and she’d
07:16
been married for 31 years she had two
07:18
grown-up sons
07:20
and two years ago she became a
07:21
grandmother for the first time which she
07:23
loved as well and then one morning as
07:26
she’s driving to work she notices
07:29
she notices that she’s crying so she
07:31
pulls over
07:33
and she stops the car and she subs her
07:36
heart out
07:37
and ever since then she she just has
07:40
stopped going to choir which she used to
07:42
love
07:43
she’s going through the motions at work
07:46
she gets home she just sits on the couch
07:48
until bedtime
07:50
and even her grand grandson
07:53
she’s only seen him once in the last two
07:55
weeks and she feels pretty empty
07:59
now obviously sam is pretty bewildered
08:01
by this
08:02
she feels numb she feels empty she
08:04
doesn’t want to do any of the things she
08:06
used to love to do
08:07
and she’s got absolutely no clue why
08:11
and the lack of an obvious reason
08:15
seems like it’s making things worse
08:17
there’s been no event
08:19
that’s led up to it there’s no obvious
08:21
childhood trauma
08:22
and yet she does feel depressed and she
08:24
does feel disengaged and
08:27
she tells herself sometimes that she has
08:29
no right to feel this way and
08:31
she feels pretty scared as well by the
08:34
fact that she can’t explain it
08:37
now many people don’t realize it and the
08:39
fact that there’s
08:40
not something to kind of point to like i
08:43
say is
08:44
is really tough and difficult
08:49
because it can be really frustrating for
08:50
the sufferer it’s scary when you don’t
08:52
have any idea why you’re feeling like
08:55
this and
08:57
you might even berate yourself if this
08:59
is you that you’ve got no reason to feel
09:01
down but nonetheless it’s how you
09:02
genuinely
09:03
feel and i have to tell you it’s more
09:07
common than you
09:08
think so you’re not alone
09:11
and so if depression is something
09:14
if if one of these depressive states is
09:16
something that you
09:18
find yourself entering into from time to
09:20
time
09:22
maybe this helps you just kind of get a
09:24
sense of
09:25
which kind it is is yours event driven
09:30
is it stubborn that keeps on coming back
09:34
again throughout life or is it
09:36
bewildering
09:38
like the case of sam
09:41
well let’s just have a recap we saw with
09:42
event driven
09:44
the it’s really easy to point to the
09:47
trigger it might be a redundancy a
09:48
bereavement
09:50
divorce or whatever it happens to be you
09:52
can kind of point
09:54
to this moment and say
09:57
that was the pivotal time
10:01
where before that i was fine but after
10:04
that i’ve had this
10:06
depressive reaction to it this
10:08
understandable depressive reaction to it
10:12
the second kind was stubborn depression
10:14
you have a hunch
10:15
that even though there’s no particular
10:18
moment in time that’s triggered this
10:20
particular episode
10:22
it’s kind of been in your life for a
10:24
long time and you get a
10:25
sense that maybe there is some reason
10:29
for it that maybe goes back to something
10:31
in the past
10:32
but no particular trigger for this
10:35
particular episode
10:37
or maybe for many of the episodes but
10:39
you do have that kind of hunch
10:41
that there is a reason for it and then
10:43
the third kind that we saw was that
10:45
bewildering depression which is
10:47
obviously
10:47
often so hard to bear simply because it
10:50
feels so scary that there’s no obvious
10:53
reason
10:54
and the big fear of course is that
10:56
people think if there’s no
10:57
reason then there can’t be an answer to
11:00
it
11:01
and of course i’d like to reassure you
11:03
that’s not the case
11:04
whatever the reason depression is
11:07
something
11:07
that we can actually deal with and
11:10
overcome
11:11
so three different types there event
11:14
driven
11:15
stubborn depression and bewildering
11:17
depression
11:18
and so hopefully that helps you to
11:21
identify
11:22
which of those kinds best fit you now if
11:25
you find this useful please
11:27
spread it on and pass on the episode to
11:30
someone else who might
11:31
you can work with me directly one-to-one
11:33
i’m alun parry
11:34
and you can find me at liverpool
11:36
psychotherapy dot co dot uk
11:38
and you don’t have to be in the
11:39
liverpool area by the way because i do
11:41
work online
11:42
and i have numerous clients who are
11:45
across the country
11:48
and please subscribe to the podcast as
11:50
well because
11:52
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11:54
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11:56
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11:57
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12:00
back
12:00
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12:04
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12:06
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12:12
you

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